Diary Entry

The past few days I have been struggling with a few things. Yesterday was almost unbearable, at least that afternoon was. I thought I would share my diary entry from this morning, I believe it really sums up the matter, and truly defines a truth I think we as Christians tend to overlook. I've never truly understood the "solid rock" concept before, until now. I didn't understand how we could seek refuge in someone, maybe because no one has ever truly been a refuge for me, but God showed me last night, just exactly what he meant by "the solid rock, and strong tower". My diary entries are written as letters to God, as explanation to help you understand who the "you" is in these letters.

October 28, 2011

Dear God,

                Last night was very hard, but you were there to comfort me. Even though my souls is still distressed I am calmer because I know you’re here. Last night, that’s what you kept telling me, “I’m here” in that soft comforting whisper. You just kept repeating it over and over. Then you gave me Isaiah 62:4 “Thou shall no more be termed Forsaken: neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate: but thou shalt be called Hephzibah and thy land Beulah: for the Lord delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married.” I took great comfort in that, not as a promise to be married, but that even though I  feel inadequate and unworthy, which I am, you still delight in me! As I sat there in awe and cried, my eyes wandered over to the top corner of the left hand page. Isaiah 60:22, only the last part of the verse is written on this page, “I the Lord will hasten it in his time.” In that section of the verse, his has a reference and translation of its. Meaning that whatever it is God will hasten it in its time. I felt like you may have been telling me something about marriage; however I chose to dwell on the first verse given. Isaiah 62:4. It spoke most to me, and did not appeal to my lusts, but instead reminded me that I have a solid place on which to stand, Your Love! It will never change, no matter what happens, no matter what I do wrong, it will always stay the same, just as strong and mighty, and all inclusive as it was the day before, before I was even born! I have comfort in that, even if a man never does love me and I never get married, even if I never get along with my Dad, or any other terrible thing I can think of. Your Love will always be there for me to stand on and seek refuge in!